BLUE HEARTBEAT

Time has passed just like you, my heart doesn’t beat red it’s blue,

The universe is the same but my world has changed, without your presence my eyes still rain,

I hear your voice when thoughts of you arise, I feel your touch of motherly advice, when I try to go left you steer me right

You were an angel even before he gave you wings , you sweet mother always answered to my cries for you my voice was a ring , and your response to my need always immediate no answering machine, I always see your face my reflection in everything , looking in the mirror is a blessing so steep, To look at myself and see that peak of you in me, is where I find my joy and settle with peace , Visions of you from the past bring me sweet dreams , rather it’s day or it’s night , I can feel you inside , my belly reminds me of the cord that was cut, and my veins are so strong cuz they were made from your blood, I have no reason to be sad , but many to be glad , that I can proudly say with a smile, that You are my mother and I am your child , I’ve expanded your love by bringing new life , a child that is grand protected by your light , when I look at Iretta, or myself it brings a smile so bright, because now I can appreciate seeing you twice , and when she smiles I know everything is alright , it’s that message from god to you and you to me, when I see her dimples and full set of teeth, it’s not just a cheese, it’s the confirmation of your message being received, then I know that your with me so I continue to breathe, your love gives me oxygen that I can’t get from trees, your my Mother Nature it was time to go you didn’t leave , though I feel that it was too soon as I sit and reminisce in this room, I am alone physically but your prescious spirit is in the room, tears fill my eyes and I don’t know what to do , because only tears of your joy like a flower makes me bloom 🌺,

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GHOST OF HOPE

The ghost of hope has a dark shadow trying to tell you no, but i swallow my pride and swallow that ball of fear in my throat, because i know your wings are surrounding me like the warmest coat, Listening to your voice in my head i swear your words are stored inside my  most sacred vault, I remember you were always there when i needed help the most, If you were elected for reliability i swear you’d have a million votes, Sometimes it feels like your deaths a lie and your gonna pop up and tell me it was all a hoax,  But then i drive by your house and realize it’s no longer a home , there’s only stories to tell of you to brag and boast, like the fact that if someone asked you for a piece of bread you’d give your whole loaf, Now that’s a real man who forever deserves a toast, Since you left i haven’t attended a party with a better host, i love the way your spirit leaves its windy notes, I thank God for allowing you to let your presence be known, without it i know my mind would truly explode, and my heart would weep between my beating 

pulse, Sometimes i ask God why don’t you just let me go?, I just need five minutes with him it won’t take too long, and every time i ask he tells me nope, and it makes my pressure rise 

and my temper blow, but i guess He’s got more seeds for me to sow, so i reminisce on your smile and it helps me grow, your powerful memories fuel my fires glow, why does grieving involve pain so slow, It enters through my mind and attaches to my bones, With every breath inside until it lands beneath my toes, will i ever escape the sour that tied my sweets last bow, No matter how much loss time eats memories keep serving up in my favorites bowl, sentimental treasure is that very  un-pawnable gold, No matter the hour that stands somethings will never get old, stories inside of hearts forever told, blood tied to bonded love always flows, Happiness comes to mind whenever i see your photo, Now when i see your name its my eyes favorite Logo, Your famous to me i’ll forever write to you pro-bono, Grandads voice is now my favorite solo. 

           ↜Love Iretta Hightower↝

                   ↱August 03, 2020↰